Saturday, March 31
I cannot believe there is a thief amongst us. I was undescribably angry with him. Still am angry with him. I cannot believe he has the cheek to let Mamat be beaten by his stepmum rather than admit that he took the phone. Where has his dignity and humanity gone to?
I already knew deep in my heart that he was the one who took it. On the way back to the immigration the other day, I asked him if he took it. He strongly said NO. I kept an eye on him and knew that one of these days Mamat's phone will be seen around here. If I see a new phone in his hands, that meant he already sold Mamat's phone.
To think he came up with lies to cover up for his theft. It is a petty theft. A handphone that cost 200 plus dollars. If he had wanted the phone, he could have gotten it by working. He was so damn jealous of what others (i.e friends, relatives and sibling-me) have. Whenever someone has a new phone or PSP or any new gadgets, he'd come home moping and bad mouthing that person.
I mean for goodness sake, if he's so freaking jealous of what others have, then find a job and earn his own ka-ching! Don't rely on elderly parents to suport him continuously. He is so jealous of what others have but yet don't want to work towards his own 'kesenangan'. I hate him to the core now. They may say that blood is thicker than water and one shouldn't give up on one's own flesh and blood but all I've seen of him are all the negative traits. He is a bloody damn lazy mule who depends on others to give him pocket money,etc2 and gets angry when mum or dad or me refuses to help him.
He wasn't even remorseful. In fact he glared at me as I was the one who told my parents about it and he received a earful of words from me in front of my parents. He thinks his dignity is at at stake. A man with dignity would have said sorry and not demand money from parents to buy his heart's desires. He shouted at my mum and dad, demanding money to buy a new phone if we want him to return Mamat's phone. He is not a man. Hell, he isnt even a boy. He is a pathetic loser!
Mum and dad handed him 200 bucks to buy a new phone just a moment ago and I'm so freaking pissed with that. What do they think that would make him? Today he will steal a hp, tomorrow a motorbike or whatsoever. He knows someone is always there to back him up. I screamed at him in front of my parents just now.."if this is the way you wanna be for the rest of your life,when mum and dad are no longer ard dun even dream of staying with me. I'll kick you so hard that you'll feel it for many yrs to come."
I'm damned pissed now! I've never stolen before. What would this make people think? My parents don't know how to teach the children ethics. Shitty!! Why can I live without a phone and he can't? He has the cheek to know girls but yet still am jobless. Is he totally clueless about his direction in life? He is already 23. Not 10 or 9 or small enough whereby when he steals, the parents can beat him to make him realise his actions were wrong.
Anarkia has already said that he lost all hope in my brother. The whatever little trust we had in him last time is now gone. There shall be no more trust till he prove himself a worthy person. For now, we can only be cautious about our belongings. It's hard to have loser around but it's even harder when the person u trust is a thief who stole from a 13 year old boy and knowing what the consequences are still went ahead with the shameful act. I was damn worried for Mamat cos his stepmum has beaten him up so hard in front of us and when I tried to shield him many times I would accidentally get beaten also. I was already worried that this might cause the enimity between my aunt's family and his stepmum to flare up even more.
Arrgghhh!! Im freaking pissed and i feel like punching the hell outta him just now. In fact I feel angry now. And he is not back yet. Freaking pain in the a-hole!!
Feathers
3/31/2007 07:26:00 PM
Thursday, March 29
It's marks the 4th year of marriage for us. The 4th year since the kadi shook his hands, since I 'signed' on the nikah cert. It's been 4 years of ups and downs. From getting our first home to giving it up cos we couldn't afford to keep it up anymore.
4 years has seen us in and out of jobs. I've been in and out of 2 jobs since I got married. The first shortlived cos he didn't approve of me working, whereas the 2nd one lasted a year plus before I resigned.
I know that people around has been asking mum about to why we have no children yet. I don't have the answer to that, neither does hubby nor mum. It's not that I do not want children. I love kids. I would love to have a few of my own. Only God knows why. Children are like gifts from Him. And maybe it is not my good fortune yet to receive any.
The other relatives kept comparing me to some of the cousins who got married around the same time as I did. I don't mind all the comparisons actually. But what hurts me the most is when one of the cousins that I used to be close to said that she knew the reason why I still do not have kids yet.
Who does she thinks she is? God? It's no use that you pray 5 times a day if you still go to all the bomohs to seek out what other peoples problems are/is. And knowing the answers to everything? Even our Rasul seeks for answers and guidance from God.
I had always believed that problems within a family should stay within a family. Because no one knows what's happening best than the people going through it themselves. Not other people. Other people are there to 'advice' and 'lend a shoulder to cry on' but at the end of the day decisions has to be made solely based on the family interests and happiness. Not the relatives. Not the friends. Just you and your family- husband,wife, mum, dad, brothers, sisters etc.
If there is a problem amongst a couple, I believed that other people like parents and siblings should not interfere. I believed that the problem should be worked out by the couple themselves. The parents and siblings can extend advice and what are their thoughts but not till the extend of trying to run your life. It is your life, your marriage/relationship and at the end of the day, you only have to please yourself and your couple. Your own happiness lies on this. Would you forsake it by listening to other people?
Being married to a man who is the opposite of me is very challenging- both mentally and physically. He does things in a very brash manner. If he wants to quit his job, he will do it despite your advices. And when things are really shitty, he would have all the optimism in the world whereas I can only think of the depressing side of things. But he is the best man I have ever come to know. He doesn't succumb to the surroundings. The more challenging the life the better. Whilst I prefer my feet firmly on the ground, he loves being up in the sky. He is the engine that keeps me going. I'm sure my life would have been more subtle if I have not met him but heck, I love my life now.
I had made my vows when I marry him. I intend to be married and stay married to him for the rest of my life. We will still hold on to each other whatever the obstacles are.
Feathers
3/29/2007 09:18:00 PM
1. Who is the most important to you?
Most impt...my mum.
2.Who was the last who sent you an SMS & call you?
Me no got hp.
3. Are you good in your studies?
Only in English,Malay and Arts.I suck big time at the rest!!
4. Can U speak Chinese?
A little bit.
5. Who was the last who said "I Love You"?
Err.. Anarkia.
6. Who is the most annoying person you know?
The tongue wagger.
7. Who are you tinking of now?
No one in particular.
8. Who are u chatting with?
No one. MSN is off. Anarkia is doing his work
9. Are you in trouble?
Nope.
10. Missing someone?
Mamat.
11. What day is today?
My 4th anniversary.
12. What do you hope for ur birthday?
Eternal supply of cash with no ending flow. LoL!
13. Bored?
Nope..just restless.
14. Last channel u watched on TV?
Channel 5.
15. What time did u slp last nite?
1 plus am.
16. Do kids love you?
Not sure. But I adore kids.
17. Do u make ppl laugh?
Not my forte but occasionally yeah.
18. Do u give ur secrets away to anyone?
Err..I would think twice, thrice and many times but I still wouldn't
19. Dumped someone?
Think so.
20. What type of personality are you?
Egocentric.
21. Are you tired of love?
Dunno.
22. Are you angry at someone?
I dunno whether to call it anger or frustration.
23. What do u really want to do now?
Rob a bank.
24. What type of girl do u hate most?
Tongue Waggers.
25. Who do u want to see now?
Mamat.
Feathers
3/29/2007 08:56:00 PM
After not logging in for quite some time, I realised I've been tagged by Miss Syana. Tengah syiok feasting my eyes on the absolutely beautiful and delicious looking hantaran cake, I scrolled down and saw my name as one of 6 victims. Chet!
So here goes. The Six Weird Things abt moi.
1)I love reading. I have read a malay-english and a french-english translation dictionary before. I constantly need new reading materials. I have a habit of reading the advertisements in newspapers when I run out of things to read. I can read while shitting(euuww). I can read while eating. The only places I can't read are in moving objects(gives me a headache!)
2)I am very selective in eating fish. I always tell people that I don't eat fish cos I find it hard to explain the reason to people. The fishes I eat are ikan selar kuning, kembong, cencaru, benggol, ikan bilis(hehe), the tuna with mayo(Ayam Brand) and the fish found in Ayam Brand Sardine only(other brands me no like). Can u see the similarity between all the fishes? They're all silverish in color. I don't eat other coloured fish. To me, most of the other coloured fishes looked 'ugly'. Don't ask me what I mean by 'ugly'. They're just 'ugly' and don't appeal to me. I hate stingrays despite the fact my whole family loves it.
3)I love watching cartoons. From the Mickey and gang to the Visionaries(old skool cartoons) to Kim Possible to Justice League. I love them all. It's like a part of me never grew up. LoL!
4)I have a habit of shutting the world out when I'm frustrated. E.g when I'm frustrated with someone, whatever they say will not be heard and I'll just say "Huh?" or "What?" or "Could u repeat that again?" many times or just simply pretend I don't hear them till they themselves get so frustrated. Childish act of mine but repeated many times.
5)I love the smell of the hair salon, clinics, polyclinics, hospitals cos they always smell so good. Call me sick to love the smell of all those chemicals and medicines. But hey.. loving the smell of the medicines doesnt make me a fan of them. ME and medicines are like mortal enemies. Ada tak ubat yang boleh diambil by just smelling it? LoL...
6)I've done a 'Britney' twice way before Britney did it. My inspiration then was the GI Jane movie and Skunk Anansie's Skin. I'm trying to appeal hubby to allow me to do it again. He has been giving the 'N-O' answer whenever I bring the matter up. LoL..
Okay..one tag DOWN..one more to GO!
P.S: This entry was typed many days agoooo....
Feathers
3/29/2007 11:26:00 AM
Monday, March 26
I finally went to my uncle's new home in JB. Frankly, it was not as I imagined it to be. I had imagined a big house. A prim and proper house with no loop holes whatsoever. But what I saw was a half build hut. Well... it is HOME to them but to me, it's just a house. Not more than that.
Frankly to tell ya, I'm 20% satisfied with the workmanship on my cousin's husband. It seems that he did the house in a hurry and doesn't show good quality of workmanship. Why must the house be slunting? By slunting i mean like the house is okay in the front side but the ceiling goes downwards in the kitchen making the kitchen lower than the front side. And the toilet/bathroom were both build on the same level as the kitchen which mean when anyone takes a bath,the water flows out the floor to the kitchen. The ceiling in the bathroom is so low that when I wanna open my shirt, my hands will hit the zinc ceiling. And I hate that. I mean he can build it without having to follow the structure of the old house right? And he could have build the kitchen a bit bigger. I mean his payment for helping my uncle build the house was 5k RM. The whole cost of the materials used to build the house was paid my by uncle.
The only nice place in his house is the living room area. Because the flooring is in mosaic and it looks 90% complete to me except for some minor cracks in the walls. I mean, when he first persuaded my uncle to let him build the house he promised sweet words such as he wanted to prove to people that he could do a good job of building a house, etc2 but in the end the work he does is like scrap sey.
I mean the house looked bloody incomplete. Haiya... maybe can't be blame cos it is afterall a kampung house. It is meant to looked like a kampung house but... my uncle paid money for the house. IF we were to employ a proper contractor he would have done a better job than this.
If I were to employ someone to build a house for me in JB, I'd ask a proper contractor. The end work will be satisfying. Rather than pay a relative to do it and he do it half heartedly. Then when we complain too much, he doesnt like it. Of course we will to cos we are the ones forking out the dough.
Anyways, will upload the pics later. I'm feeling so damn sleepy oredi.
ZzzZzZz!
Labels: CHEN
Feathers
3/26/2007 11:27:00 PM
Saturday, March 24
I know I've been tagged by Syana. But while typing, my head went blank abt another 2 weird thing about myself.
I'm still sleepy. I slept at 4 plus am and woke up around 9 am. I'm yawning endlessly. I want to sleep but not till I blogged about a certain issue.
I'm sure you must have read the newspaper these couple of days. Anyways, the issue here is regarding the Alamak chatters who had sex with underaged girls. There was a story on it last few days ago and in today's Berita Harian, there is also another story on it.
I've been chatting in Alamak way before I met Anarkia. In fact Anarkia was also one of the chatters there back when it first started in 1995. I've seen the dangers lurking behind the nicks. Even guys who may sound nice and polite while chatting are a potential predator. I mean, not all the people there are bad. Those who are the key chatters, the ones who are the regulars are actually very nice in person.
I honestly don't know why they seek for sex with an underaged girl. I mean, it is so obvious what the consequences are. The sentence itself carries a form of punishment no one ever wanted to go through - caning. I mean does lust really makes a person think out of their mind?
And for the girls to actually fall for these guys trap. Well sometimes it's the other way. I mean, why do it in a place where good friends meet up to chat? I often get personal messages(pm) in which turns me off and I usually ignore(/ig which means chatters cannot send me pm). But when they can't chat with you in the pm, they will taunt you in the main chat. So freaking irritating.
Anyways...yeah. Just to tell the non chatters of Alamak.com that Alamak is actually a nice place to make friends. You just have to know who to make friends with.
Like a wise person said once - " Choose your friends like you choose an author. "
Feathers
3/24/2007 12:09:00 PM
Friday, March 23
Two years has gone since i last logged into Blogger.com for the first time. From knowing nuts about how to change the layouts or where to find those funky,cool blogskins till where I am now.
It all started with my old blogspot, FOMYWIM.BLOGSPOT. I was blogging in another blogging media back then, MULTIPLY, but decided to switched to blogspot because I had too many close friends and hence I didn't feel comfortable there.
FOMYWIM actually stands for (F)igmentation (O)f (MY) (WI)cked (M)ind. It was a blog set up to actually hold all the poems I wrote. But somehow as time goes by, it became a place I wrote about the daily happenings in my life. It became an online diary for me.
I have decided to stop blogging there. It's time for people to know another side of me.
This new blog - bahgiatetapterasameskipundukanestapa is a place where I wanna share life experiences. The happiness, sadness : the ups and downs in life.
I have come to realise that happiness can still be felt even when you're sad.
That's why I named this blog - Bahgia Tetap Terasa Meskipun Duka Nestapa.
And thus with this...life begins here.
Feathers
3/23/2007 10:37:00 PM
