Thursday, March 29
It's marks the 4th year of marriage for us. The 4th year since the kadi shook his hands, since I 'signed' on the nikah cert. It's been 4 years of ups and downs. From getting our first home to giving it up cos we couldn't afford to keep it up anymore.
4 years has seen us in and out of jobs. I've been in and out of 2 jobs since I got married. The first shortlived cos he didn't approve of me working, whereas the 2nd one lasted a year plus before I resigned.
I know that people around has been asking mum about to why we have no children yet. I don't have the answer to that, neither does hubby nor mum. It's not that I do not want children. I love kids. I would love to have a few of my own. Only God knows why. Children are like gifts from Him. And maybe it is not my good fortune yet to receive any.
The other relatives kept comparing me to some of the cousins who got married around the same time as I did. I don't mind all the comparisons actually. But what hurts me the most is when one of the cousins that I used to be close to said that she knew the reason why I still do not have kids yet.
Who does she thinks she is? God? It's no use that you pray 5 times a day if you still go to all the bomohs to seek out what other peoples problems are/is. And knowing the answers to everything? Even our Rasul seeks for answers and guidance from God.
I had always believed that problems within a family should stay within a family. Because no one knows what's happening best than the people going through it themselves. Not other people. Other people are there to 'advice' and 'lend a shoulder to cry on' but at the end of the day decisions has to be made solely based on the family interests and happiness. Not the relatives. Not the friends. Just you and your family- husband,wife, mum, dad, brothers, sisters etc.
If there is a problem amongst a couple, I believed that other people like parents and siblings should not interfere. I believed that the problem should be worked out by the couple themselves. The parents and siblings can extend advice and what are their thoughts but not till the extend of trying to run your life. It is your life, your marriage/relationship and at the end of the day, you only have to please yourself and your couple. Your own happiness lies on this. Would you forsake it by listening to other people?
Being married to a man who is the opposite of me is very challenging- both mentally and physically. He does things in a very brash manner. If he wants to quit his job, he will do it despite your advices. And when things are really shitty, he would have all the optimism in the world whereas I can only think of the depressing side of things. But he is the best man I have ever come to know. He doesn't succumb to the surroundings. The more challenging the life the better. Whilst I prefer my feet firmly on the ground, he loves being up in the sky. He is the engine that keeps me going. I'm sure my life would have been more subtle if I have not met him but heck, I love my life now.
I had made my vows when I marry him. I intend to be married and stay married to him for the rest of my life. We will still hold on to each other whatever the obstacles are.
Feathers
3/29/2007 09:18:00 PM
