Wednesday, April 4
I'm not sure whether I should be laughing or crying. In fact I'm absolutely clueless on what my feelings are.
Did she think that by inventing stories we could come up with the amount of cash she requires each month? We could, back when Anarkia was still holding on to a full time job as well as running the business. But now what measly amount we earn each month is from the business which apparently is doing great but all the bookings are for mid and late this year. We are surviving on people's deposits and Anarkia is still finding a job that is a 5-day-per-week kinda job.
She made up stories to Anarkia's elder cuzzin citing that he have not been there for almost 2 months and hasn't been giving her pocket money for many months. That was the story she spun to Anarkia's cuzzin. How did we come to know about it? Anarkia ran into with him last week. Does she know why we didn't go there? Because we knew she would be asking for money and money we do not have now. She wants to see us only because we bring her money. She forgets that we even existed if not for month's ends. We dropped by her place cos it was Faiz's 4th birthday last Friday. She was acting all so nice to me-: asking me how my mum was, where I was from et cetera et cetera. It's all too late for that niceness. After the story she spun to her relatives that I was apparently a 'bad' person, a 'bad' sister in law. Whatever. Maybe in her family, when one does wrong no one speaks up. I grew up in a totally different way. If she thinks it was wrong of me to lecture her daughter on what's right or wrong, she can tell Anarkia. Why spun a tale about me being bad? If I am bad, I wouldn't know what's right from wrong. I would have influenced your daughters to doing something against your beliefs. But I didn't. Tell me, was it wrong of me to tell off my SIL when she brings a guy home to my house and sleeps with him on the same bed? She dares to do such things in front of me, her elder brother's wife. Is it wrong of me to tell her to shut up when she was screaming and yelling like a mad person during mahgrib after she found out her then bf was detained by the police? Is it? If it is...tell me!
And when Anarkia called his dad to ask for a personal loan, his dad bombarded him with many sindirans and even told him off. It wasn't like we took a loan from them and never returned a single cent. Apparently, she told his dad that we i.e Anarkia has never gave her any pocket money at all. What was the money we gave her each month without fail called? We couldn't afford to give her money some of the months but we tried to cut down on some stuff so that she could get her pocket money from us. In fact she gets pocket money from Anarkia's dad too. The bills,groceries are all paid by him. How much more does she wants? She knew our problems, she knew of our financial woes each month and yet she demands more each time. We earn petty amounts, unlike Anarkia's father who brings home 6k per month. That is during regular months. He brings home more when its his bonus time which happens 2-3 times a year.
Isn't that enough? How much does she wants? Our entire amount of money we earn each month? She even has the cheek to say to his sisters "Tak guna abg kau buat bisnes kalau each month kasi duit tetap sama." We started the business cos we wanted extra money to pay for our mortgage. Did she really think that we started the business so that we could have money to splurge on ourselves, or on her for that matters? When we finally went on our much awaited honeymoon to Langkawi 3 half years after we got married, did she thinks that we were just showing off to her that we could travel extensively as she could?
If she is, I'm sad to say that she has misunderstood our intentions. Each time I donned a new shirt/dress/pants did she think I get to enjoy new clothes ever so often the way she does? If she thinks when I buy new baju kurungs far more expensive than hers or her daughters that I'm trying to show off? Have she ever tried to buy baju kurungs in my size from boutiques? She is of an S size so it would be easy for her to find clothes. But I am an XXL and it is hard finding baju kurungs that really fits me. Have she lived my life before I got married? Is it wrong of me to ask for such things that I know won't be a burden to Anarkia from Anarkia? If it is, tell Anarkia who wants me to spend his money on nice clothes for myself. But each time after browsing and finding one that I liked and fitted me, the thought of you comes into mind and I will tell Anarkia that none of the clothes catches my eye. He would persuade me to take a look at other shops in which I would harshly say no. Do you know how many times I have fought with him over you? I think of you more than I think of my own mum.
I was there when you were sick. Did any of your daughters did that for you without you having to ask? I was being good to you then and you still called me a bad person.
Now I don't care what you call me. Call me an unfilial daugher in law, a bitch or whatsoever cos it won't change my perception of you. It won't make me falter. I will respect you and give you your due respect as my mother in law but I simply hate you to the very core.
Feathers
4/04/2007 11:24:00 PM
