Thursday, July 12
"Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. "
-Kahlil Gibran
What is the definiton of friendship?
Some webs might say that friendship is an in-depth relationship. Friendship is comfortable and relaxed. Friendship requires meeting the needs of both friends.But how often is it that we meet someone who understands us, someone who meets our requirement ?
Over the last 25 years of my life, I've come across real good friends, a few friends who were there temporarily in my life just passing by, friends who shared laughter and pain, jokes and jeers. I've severed ties with some friends, not because of my wanting but because they wanted it. I know that I should not have agreed but I did.
To me, I need a friend who understands me. And when I say that I'm not ready to tell, the friend understands and doesn't accuse me of not trusting him/her. Of all things, trust is important to me. I can never have a friendship with someone untrustworthy. I also cannot be friends with someone who are selfish and think of themselves beyond others.
Building friendship takes time. Talking and listening builds friendships. Friendships require equality and loyalty from friends. Some say that friendship has to be a relationship in which constant contact is required. To me, that is not really necessary. As long as you think of the person constantly, do occasional meet-ups then there should be no problem in any relationships. Being in a freindship doesn't mean it allows you space into your friends private life nor does it gives you the right to harbour over them. Friendship has to be about giving them space,letting them grow.
Having been in a few relationships which are toxic to me,it's sometime s is hard to differentiate loyal friends and toxic friends.Because one you have been hurt by a friend,you tend to have questions and doubts. Backstabbing is one of the major flaws in relationships. Why do most of us refrain from some friends after we got to know of it ? It's cos the trust we entrusted in them is gone. How do you trust someone who doesn't know how to keep a secret?
Some friendships are spoiled when the best friend/good friend goes out with the guy you liked behind your back. I mean,if they are honest enough it's either they'll tell you or they will simply decline the guy's offer knowing of your feelings towards him. Well, I've came across that too when I was way much younger. It hurts but at the end of the day, friends stay on and boyfriends don't. Heh.
Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, accountability, truth, and forgiveness. Till this very day I am able to forgive my friends for the hurt they cause. I refrain from hurting them and when I do, I apologise. Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt.
So the question remains: What type of friend do you want to be?
Who do you know who needs a true friend today?
Befriend that person cos you might never know what a journey in life he/she might bring you to.
"Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need. "
Feathers
7/12/2007 01:25:00 PM
